Visions
by OneHUGEvirginia
Summary: "I've learned to loathe these Goddamn visions. But I just can't wait to fall back to sleep." Possible 3-parter. Seddie. xx
1. Chapter 1

**Hi :) So to answer any of your questions, YES THE SEDDIE FANDOM STILL EXISTS. It may be diminishing- but I have faith that it will never die out completely. I've missed writing. So, here you go. I don't really know what this is… but I hope you like it. Oh, also the Seddie arch never happened The Freddie/Carly kiss never happened- so yeah.**

**xx oHv**

Freddie Benson couldn't remember the last time he had gotten a full night's sleep.

The bags ender his eyes felt as though they sagged all the way down to his chin. He eyed himself drearily in the mirror simply wondering _why_. That had been the question going through his mind since the day he left for his freshman year of college two years ago. He had so much going for him. He was at the top of his classes, and Pear had already contacted him and offered him a job.

He was supposed to be feeling happy- feeling _something_. But it seemed that his emotions had been drained from his body. It was the reason he couldn't get a girlfriend and it was surely the reason he couldn't sleep. Although Freddie was intelligent, he was extremely dim-sighted when it came to his own emotions. Therefore, he had no solution to his own misery. Other than therapy, which definitely wasn't happening.

Sometimes he would let out a sadistic laugh to himself and wonder, "When the fuck did I become so….._**depressed**_?" His heart and mind were in a constant battle against the other. His heart knew what he needed, but his mind blinded him from the true antidote to his emptiness. He took a deep, painful breath and looked at his clock only to realize he had been staring into the mirror for a good ten minutes. He dragged himself to his desk and began to do next week's homework for his Computer Sciences class.

This had been the reason he was doing so well in school, aside from his born intellect. He would use the time that he didn't sleep to do the endless work that his classes offered. He only wrote down the first part of an equation before his vision started to blur and his phone began to buzz. He pressed the "accept" button before he even bothered to see who it was calling him.

"Hello,"

"What's up buttercup?" He_ knew_ that his heart had stopped.

"…..uh"

"Freddie?" Sam. _Sam. SAM _was on the other line on of his phone. He hadn't talked to her in a year or so. She left right after Carly did and he hadn't heard from her since. And then it hit him. For the first time in almost a year- Freddie Benson felt a sharp wave of pain course through his heart. It was because he finally knew _why. _Exactly why he had been suffering for these passed years. As he thought more about it, this feeling of pain began to subside into something else entirely. His pain had turned to anger.

"Sam Puckett," He spat.

"The one and only," He could hear the smile in the way that she spoke. That just angered him further because he _knew_ she knew he was upset.

"To what do I owe this honor?" He'd play whatever game she had set up. For now.

"Oh, nothin' budddddyyy," She slurred out. Bingo. She had been drinking, or God knows what. The bottom line was, she was simply calling him under the influence at three something in the morning.

"Sam. Where are you?" He was still angry, but now wasn't the time.

"Psh, Benson, where do ya think? Ya know what? I can't even remember why I called you in the first place, so bye!"

"No, Sam wher-" *click*. He tried calling her back a thousand times, but it was no use. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and made his was over to his computer. Why did he even give a damn? He asked himself this over and over again as he used the "Find My Pearphone" app to try and locate where she was.

He typed in the password to her phone and chuckled to himself, despite his frustration. Carly had always made it relevant that she thought Sam's password was "icky". The temporary smile on his face faded when a box popped up on his computer that read, "Password incorrect." Of _course _had changed it. It was a typical Sam situation- everything had to be as difficult as it possibly could be. Freddie took a deep breath and thought deeply for a moment. He soon found himself typing in "Samlovesham" into the box. Sure enough, the location where she currently was popped up. His eyes widened at what appeared on the screen.

"Oh, God." He said in disbelief.

**Love it? Hate it? Keep going? Let me know!**

**xx oHv**


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry for not updating this. Whoever you are out there...if you're about to be a junior in high school, get ready to go to hell and back. Anyways, I hope this was worth the wait. Thanks for reading.. :) I promise it won't be another year until another update.

xxx

JS

Freddie expected to find Sam at some trap house or shady frat party but was instead met with the reality that she was, indeed, in the hallway directly outside his door. The bags under his eyes ached as the clock displayed the unGodly hour in which this was all unfolding. Freddie took a moment to gather himself both physically and mentally as he walked hesitantly towards the peeled, blue paint of his door. "Just rip off the bandaid," he thought to himself as he unlocked the door and swiftly swung it open. There sat Samantha Puckett against the door of the room opposite to his. Her mane of hair, now grown to reach the small of her back, lay fallen in her face- even as she looked up to meet his eyes.

"Sup," she barked, popping the "p" sassily.

Freddie said nothing, just continued to study her. He noticed she didn't smell of liquor and seemed relatively sober...

"Are you going to make me explain why I'm here?" She asked suddenly, jolting him out of his thoughts.

He took a deep breath and sighed heavily. He finally managed to say, "Just come inside."

She stood up, yanking her hood down from her head as she did, ultimately revealing all of her face. The color of her normally vibrant blue eyes now looked a drained, grey color- the innocence stolen from them. He shut the door behind him as she walked past him, straight for the small couch next to the window of his little apartment- the glass battered and blurred with rain from a typical Seattle night. He sat across from her, and blinked sleepily in her direction. It might have been the adrenaline wearing off, but ever since she had gotten here, he felt his body start to fall asleep without his consent. She must have felt the same because without a word, she stood up and walked lazily to his bed and wrapped herself in his soft comforter and sheets. He didn't question her, but simply followed her, telling her to "scoot over" as he tried his best to wrestle a part of the sheets away from her when he crawled in beside her. He smiled as she moved closer to him, molding her body to his and making something warm pull at his chest. No questions were asked as the two fell into the first deep, content sleep the other had had in over a year.

Freddie stirred as the harsh, white light came streaming in his bedroom window in the early hours of the morning. A hint of a smile was etched on his face as he moved closer to the softness that was melded against his side. A sharp headache began to make it's evil self known as Freddie's eyes snapped open to see that Sam was no where in sight. He took a moment to thrash around in his bed, realizing that he had simply been snuggling with a lumpy pillow all night. Anger started to settle in-

How dare she just do this again? Freddie soon realized that he couldn't even smell a trace of her scent that he had so hoped she would have left behind; and then it hit him.

She was never even there at all.

It had all been an elaborate trick of his torturous and merciless mind- a dream- a figment of his imagination. A tear escaped from his weary eye without his consent. Freddie soon found himself in the throes of a panic attack of some sort-why him? Why this? And why her of all people? Something inside him snapped as he sharply whispered, "Enough of this" out loud to himself. Freddie pulled his phone from the top drawer of his bedside table and proceeded to dial Sam's number, her picture popping up as he did so. And that's when something inside him snapped; when he saw her face. Freddie threw his phone as hard as he could and watched it hit the wall in front of him. He didn't have to look to know the screen was shattered. No one had ever seen this dark and desolate side of Freddie; including himself. He was sick of her dancing on the back of his brain, teasing him with her absence. In the midst of it all, his phone began to vibrate. He took his hands from his face and picked his damaged phone up before the last ring.

"Hello?"

"Freddie...hi."

"Don't fucking call me again."

And with that, he turned his phone off completely.


	3. Chapter 3

Two months.

It had been two months since he had that wretched dream and that wretched phone call from that _wretched_ girl. And yet- it was still on his mind nearly every waking moment. He'd find himself asking pathetic, hopeful questions like, "What if it meant something?" Quickly followed by a "Goddammit why do I care so much?" It was all coming to a head- he knew that if he didn't return her call soon he would literally drive himself insane (if it wasn't too late for that already). What was_ really _eating him was the fact that she hadn't called again. Just one call, no explanation. She gave up after one try- as fucking usual. The thought made him so furious, it made him wish she was a stranger, that they'd never even met.

With thoughts racing in and out of his head, as he paced back and forth, he didn't even notice the bedroom window open slowly behind him. He looked absolutely out of his mind, talking to himself and pacing the floor as he did. It wasn't until the chill of the Seattle night that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, did he turn around to see her smug face.

Suddenly he was weak and had nothing to say. He hated when she did this- showing up completely unannounced and making him look like and idiot when he was completely unprepared to speak to her.

"You should really get a lock on that window." She looked very satisfied with herself.

Freddie said nothing as he sat down and buried his face into his hands. He looked weathered with emotion, unable to process. Sam tilted her head to the side in confusion. She thought he would be happy she was here, finally. Not just the ghost of her voice on the phone, but she was actually _here_. She was expecting him to be upset, but not like this- he looked like he was in pain. Her face turned white as a sheet when she saw a lone tear drip down his fingers and onto his wrist. It was clear she didn't know what to say- she had never seen him like this. This had to be another dream. She can't just keep ghosting in and out of his life like this- if he was going to have her, he was going to _have her. _

He finally spoke, "I'm not pretending this okay anymore, Sam. It's not okay that you leave whenever you want to without saying goodbye. I know you want to live the adventurous life you've always had in mind, and I can't stop you- but I don't want to be part of this anymore. It's tearing me to shreds." She listened closely to what he said and then took a deep breath.

"I'm here now." She said. His face flushed with anger and he quickly stood up.

"That's not enough! Don't you understand that you're _it _for me, Sam? No one else- just _you_."

He was very close to her now, gripping her arms as he spoke without realizing it. He could see the wheels in her head turning as she studied his face.

"I guess you're it for me too."


End file.
